the concept of mental illness
is oddly comparable
to my unbelievably blurred vision.
without my contacts or glasses,
everything i see is a soft blur.
indistinct shapes of color.

a truly impairing state
of nearsightedness.

from the perspective of
someone else looking at me,
nothing has changed in my eyes
(except possibly a facial expression
of general confusion & disarray).
they are still the same hazel eyes,
their outer appearance is no different.

from my perspective? an absolute blur.
deprivation of the slightest glimmer of clarity.

a disability of literal perception.

mental illness is a disability of perception.

a distortion of clear cognitive perspective.

i look cool, calm, collected
on the surface, from the
eyes of someone else.
inside my mind, however:
a raging sea of disharmony.

depression & anxiety have
characterized & shaped
my perception of life.

it was not until my twenties
(so about the past five years)
that i slowly began to comprehend
the idea that . . .

maybe this twisted
self-deprecating mindset
is not who i am . . .

maybe i have the
influence to create
my own positive thoughts
& find freedom
from the degrading
inner voice i mistook
for my own.

stay tuned.
our journey,
introspectively & collectively,
has only just begun.